don't you try to tell me
that this is all there is
and if it's true, god help me

— Jonah Myers, Lashes & Brows

You know how you sometimes get stuck? Running in place nothing ever changing. Glass people in concrete rooms.

Or, dissociating derealising until you feel like you're bumping up against the edges of reality, missing time and not living it but still having to wade through it, stretching forward in a long, boring road until anything happens again.

This is all to me, because I don't know you, reader, but I'd be indescribably happy if it works.

Be not glass, but moss. Grow along walls, out of holes and into places. Exist within cracks long enough, and they might crumble outwards, little by little.

Bring hypotheticals one level down. Ask: if I didn't have the inhibitions that stop me in my tracks from doing what I would, what would I do? Then do that. (This is your whole modus operandi anyway — 'what would you do if you were real?' But you keep forgetting to apply it.)

There's a very pragmatic sense of 'understimulated', but really — life's everywhere, interesting is everywhere. You just need to remind yourself to see it.

(I think that might be the original intent of the grounding exercise that goes 'name 5 things you can see'. There's a world around you, and it's more fascinating and complex than anything you or I could fathom, and it's worth paying attention to.)

(And this song is probably not quite about that, but it gets at the way I talk/think about peopleness and placeyness in the same breathlessly excited breath.)

And is this song how free un-stuck feels like? I suppose.